


From Dusk till Dawn

by Zummar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Trials, fairy cas, troubled home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-20 17:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14266269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zummar/pseuds/Zummar
Summary: There is no such thing as fairies, Dean knows that, EVERYBODY knows that and yet...there is Castiel, the tarn-fairy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by a song called "blaue stunde" by Faun. Loosely based =)  
> Thanks to @pherryt, @treefrogie84 and @tellethenight for all the help with this fic. A big thanks to my friend @in2lalaland who gives good pointers and is not afraid to tell the truth.  
> Also a big thanks to all the WWM-people that has answered weird questions and got me going whenever I was stuck.  
> This is the fic, and I hope you all enjoy it =)
> 
> For your knowledge  
> Tarn is a type of woodland lake (I've been told that it's not a very common word)

He tossed a pebble into the water, watching it break into ripples that spread over the lake. The sky mirrored in it was slowly turning indigo as the daylight turned into dusk. He sighed and bent down to pick up another pebble to throw. He swept his hand out to his side to gain momentum, the pebble hitting the water of the small lake and starting another set of tiny waves on its surface. 

 

The forest framing the lake was quiet. Dean and his pebbles were the only things making any kind of noise. He sighed again as he sat down on a big stone in the small clearing by the water. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his hands raking through his dark blond hair.

 

He had found the clearing after a particularly gruesome fight with his dad. That had been months ago, but Dean found that no place was as calming for him as this one. 

 

This time was no different than the other times he’d come here to find some peace of mind. He and his father had been fighting again. John Winchester did not like the fact that his oldest son stood up to him. John was nice enough, as long as Dean did as he was told and didn’t make a fuss. But when Dean came home from school just to find his father passed out on the couch rather than seeing that Dean’s brother had a decent meal to eat... Well let’s just say that the criticism had not been well received and punches had been thrown. John slapped Dean hard, right across his cheek and mouth, splitting Dean’s lip.

 

Dean had stormed out and into the kitchen, tears burning in his eyes. Luckily the only thing following him into the kitchen was his father’s jeering words. Dean dried his tears and took a deep breath, scouring the fridge to find something to make so that Sam at least had something warm to eat when he got home. Looked like it was Mac’n’cheese that was on the menu. He left the finished pot on the counter for Sam to heat, then he grabbed his jacket and the keys to the Impala and left.

 

He just didn’t feel like going home again. Not yet anyway. He shifted so he could lean against the tree roots that snaked like fingers over the stone under him. It made for a great spot to just gaze out into the darkening surroundings.

 

***

He had seen him here before, several times. With childlike astonishment, from the dusky shadows, he watched over the human that had come into his forest. He was mesmerizing. His green eyes reminded him of the sun dancing through the foliage on early summer mornings.

 

He seemed sad today, and hurt. He could see him touch his lower lip from time to time, looking at his fingers to see if it was bleeding again. The man slumped against the tree and stared blindly out over the water as night fell.

 

Moving closer on soft feet used to the mossy grounds, he could see that the human was slowly falling asleep, his eyelids growing heavier and heavier and eventually falling shut. He climbed up on the rock beside the human and crouched there, heart beating hard.  _ Never  _ had he been  _ this  _ close before. He could hear the human’s soft breaths and, leaning in even closer, he found he could count the tiny spots on his cheeks and nose. He wondered if the human had spots elsewhere. Tentatively he raised his hand, two narrow fingers softly touching the cracked lip.

 

***

A sharp pain woke Dean up. Instinctively, he grabbed a hold of whatever it was that was poking at his sore lip. He opened his eyes with a grunt and stared right into frightened blue ones.

 

“I…I’m so sorry!” The being in front of Dean stuttered as it leaped to its feet and down to the ground. Dean didn’t know if he felt angry or scared. What even  _ was _ this thing? On the moss just by the edge of the tarn was this peculiar person. _ Person? Yeah, most definitely a person…but not human, huh?  _  Dean glared at it and it shivered, trying to pull away. Dean realized he still held its hand tightly. He looked down at their hands. The hand had a bluish tint to it in the darkening dusk, but felt warm and soft in Dean’s grip.

 

“What...? I mean, who are you?” Curiosity taking over his initial confusion. It was still staring at him with frightened eyes but something more than the fact that Dean held its hand kept it from running.

 

“I’m a tarn fairy, this is mine.” It gestured to the water behind him. “My name is Castiel.”

 

Dean shook his head. “Nah, there’s no such thing as fairies.” He chuckled in disbelief.

 

The fairy tilted its head and squinted. “Well, strange that you’re talking to one then. And if I may say so, are holding one’s hand in a rather tight grip!” 

 

Dean looked down at their joined hands once again and immediately let go. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

 

Castiel rubbed the freed hand, still looking Dean straight in the eyes. Dean sighed and slumped back against the tree. He looked out over the tarn, as Castiel had called it, while he tugged his leather jacket closer around him and pulled his knees to his chest. “A fairy? Huh?” A quick side glance at Castiel to make sure he was still there.  _ He? Was it a he?  _ Dean thought so.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I am.”

 

“So…like…do you have magic powers or something?”

 

“Well, I can do this.” Castiel reached out a hand to touch Dean’s lip again. “Don’t worry, this is only gonna sting a little.” The sharp pain that had woken him before shot through his lower lip, Dean grimaced at the pain but didn’t stop the fairy.

 

Castiel lowered his hand, his fingers grazing Dean’s cheek, feather-light . Dean looked in wonder at the fairy in front of him as he reached and felt how his lip now was smooth and not sore at all.

 

Dean’s breath hitched. “Oh…” The corner of Castiel’s mouth twitched into a shy smile. There was something so ethereal about him. Dean wasn’t sure if fairies could blush, but if they did he thought Castiel was now. “Thank you, Castiel.”

 

Castiel looked down at his bare feet. “I’m not supposed to do that to…humans.”

 

“But who’s gonna know?” Dean shrugged.

 

Castiel did the same. “I don’t know really, I’m the only one here of my kind and I…” His voice died off and he tugged absentmindedly at the hem of his clothing. 

 

To judge by Castiel’s clothes, he was probably styled by Tinkerbell and Peter Pan, but it suited him.  It was blue, just like the rest of him. His skin had a faint blue tint to it that nearly gleamed in the dusk. The only thing  _ not _ blue was his hair which was black and messy. Dean tried to see if he had elf ears, but the hair was too long to allow the tips to show.

 

“So, there’s no more fairies around here?” Dean asked softly. It felt like a sensitive subject, one that should be treated carefully, gently even.

 

Castiel shook his head. “I’m the only one. We who guard the forests and waters are a lone kind, only ever meeting during summer and winter solstice.” His smile was sad, and Dean fought an urge to reach out and touch him. Instead, he leaned his cheek against his knees and pulled his arms tighter around his legs. 

 

Dean opened his mouth to say something when a buzzing sound interrupted him. Castiel looked at him with equal terror and curiosity on his face as Dean pulled out his phone from his pocket and answered.

 

“I’m sorry,” Dean said when the short call ended. He got down from the stone, ending up face to face with Castiel. There was a moment of silence between them as they gazed into each other’s eyes, Dean swallowing hard, his heart beating a little too fast. He licked his lips and cleared his throat.

 

“I’m so-” he shook his head slightly, trying to find his voice again “…it was my brother, I have to go home”.

 

Castiel’s shoulders drooped a little as he watched Dean walk away from the glade to that black beast he thought was called a car. “Dean?” he called out.

 

“Yeah?” Dean turned around, his heart fluttering at hearing his name said by the fairy.

 

“Will…will you come back here?” He bent his head down and stirred his naked foot in the vegetation. He glanced through the black unruly hair that had fallen in front of him, nearly covering his eyes.

 

Dean studied the fairy with an intangible look on his face. “Will  _ you _ be here?”

 

Castiel nodded with that same shy smile as before. “Dean, I’m always here.”

 

“Okay, Cas. See you around.” Dean smiled, and that it made Cas’ insides feel like a swarm of fireflies had filled his chest.

 

Cas faded into the night as Dean drove away.

 

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Every afternoon after their first meeting, as the sun began to set, Cas waited by the stone in the clearing. And every night he faded into the darkness more disappointed than the night before. More than a fortnight passed without a single foreign sound in the air.

 

Cas ached in ways he hadn’t known was even possible. He had been alone most of his life, but he never felt truly lonely. Until now. 

 

Sure, he had the little bugs and critters that roamed the forest around the tarn, and the fish and all the other creatures living in the water — it was, after all, his job to take care of them — but it wasn’t the same anymore.

 

The first days after his meeting with Dean, the forest had been simmering with sounds of happy little butterflies and birds flying around. Half a dozen gray rabbits happily jumped around, playing with Cas in the sun. He had been laughing, making loops in the air and played catch with Ibis, the owl at the west side of the tarn. But as the days passed and Dean didn’t show, Cas’ demeanor had slowly changed and for the last two days he’d merely nodded at Ibis’ “hoot, hoot” as he passed her tree with heavy steps.

 

There was a stone on the ground and he lifted his foot to kick it out into the water, not realizing it was only the tip of a bigger stone. He let out an angry cry when his big toe hit the stone, making all the birds — even Ibis — in the trees around him simultaneously take off in a cacophony of chatter and cries. His own scream echoed over the tarn as he sat down against a tree to look over his hurt toe. Tears rising in his eyes made it hard to see, he dried them off with his sleeve and sniffed loudly.

 

Ibis soared down from the skies and landed on Cas’ shoulder. She tilted her head almost ninety degrees and bumped it lovingly into the side off Cas’ head. 

 

Cas snorted at the owl. “You’re not a cat, you know. Not even a cat-owl.” He turned to face the tiny brown speckled owl still seated on his shoulder. 

 

She glared back at him as if he was the dumbest thing on the planet, her expression so sour it made Cas laugh out loud. She made a quick peck at his ear and took off just as Cas reached for it. 

 

“Hey, that hurt!” Ibis flew close over his head, ruffling his hair with the draft. “Ok, I’m sorry, Ibis!”

 

She hooted and landed on his shoulder again. He tilted his head at her and mirrored her endearment, bumping his head against hers. She hooted again, softly and Cas smiled at her. “Thanks,” he whispered.

 

Cas lifted his hand and Ibis jumped up on it as she had done many times before. He cupped his hand under her and held her close to his chest as he petted her over the back.

 

The day had seamlessly changed into dusk, but Cas didn’t get up to go to the clearing. Not tonight. He was done waiting, and sitting under the pine tree watching the last beams of the sun disappearing behind the treetops was as much as he had the will to do right now.

He let his head fall against the tree behind him, taking in the calm surroundings and the warmth of Ibis at his chest, when something caught his eye. In the clearing where he had met Dean, something moved. 

 

Cas sat up straight and squinted towards the clearing.  All senses on high alert, he got to his feet. He placed Ibis back on his shoulder and slowly made his way closer to whatever was moving around in the clearing.

 

“Cas, are you here?” A scarcely audible question floating over the waters surface made Cas’ heart stop and beat fiercely all at once.  _ Dean? He came! _

 

“Dean!? I’m here!” He couldn’t contain his excitement and almost flew into a branch on his way through the trees. He landed on soft feet, panting slightly, Ibis re-aligning herself on his shoulder after the flight. “You came back…” Cas whispered in disbelief.

 

“I told you I’d come back here.” Dean gave Cas a nervous smile.

 

Cas could feel that electricity again and he tilted his head, frowning. The tension was palpable but not awkward as they stood there looking at each other in the dimming light. 

 

Dean cleared his throat and broke eye contact first. “So…there’s an owl on your shoulder?” Dean put his hands in his pockets and shifted his balance between his heels and toes. “Is he like your…pet?”

 

“She.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“ _ She’s  _ my friend. Her name is Ibis.” Cas petted Ibis on the head and she hooted softly.

 

“Oh.” Dean’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I never met an owl before,” he tried to say it with a smile, but it felt fake.

 

Cas tilted his head again. “You never met an owl?” He walked closer to Dean and took his hand. Holding Dean’s hand with his palm open, Cas looked him in the eye and said, “Do you wanna met one?”

 

Dean gulped and nodded, his eyes flitting nervously between Cas and Ibis.

 

“Ibis, say hi to Dean. He’s a human, but no need to be afraid, he's one of the good ones.”  _ I hope, _ he added to himself. 

 

Ibis hooted once more and jumped the short stretch between Cas’s shoulder and Dean’s open palm. Dean flinched when Ibis landed on his hand. His breath hitched and, with eyes wide open, he stared at the owl. Ibis stared back, yellow meeting green in an equally scared curiosity.  

 

Cas moved their hands towards Dean’s chest and reached for Dean’s other hand. “Here,” he said, placing Dean’s fingertips on Ibis’ back, motioning him to stroke it along the feathers. Dean still looked a little like he was afraid she was going to break under his touch, but the owl just blinked slowly and bopped her head against his hand. “I think she likes you,” Cas said with a smile, looking up at Dean.

Ibis was still contently sitting in Dean’s hand when he carefully got up on the stone he had been sitting on the night when he and Cas first met. He sat down and leaned his back on the tree as Cas took a seat beside him.

 

“I’m sorry, Cas,” he said quietly.

 

“What for?” Cas looked bewildered.

 

Dean gazed into the darkness between the trees. “I wanted to come earlier…I just couldn’t.” He hung his head, unable to quite look at Cas directly. Cas listened avidly as Dean explained a little bit of his home life, and the escape he’d sought when he had come here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A simple word and a little kudos is all that's needed to make my day =)


	3. Chapter 3

Dean had felt heavier and heavier with every mile he placed between him and his, or technically Cas’, forest. The drive home went too quickly and every step up the driveway felt like he was walking in syrup. 

 

Sam had called him. He needed Dean’s help getting their drunk father cleaned up and into bed. Although John never took his anger and frustration out on Sam, he had his share of helping his father with things no kid should ever have to do.

 

John had been passed out on the bathroom floor. Apparently, he’d missed the toilet and was now lying in his own sick. Dean sighed, and the brothers got to work. They’d lost count of how many times this had happened, but it was too many. John was not a small man, so it took the full strength of both boys to drag John into the shower and help him out of his dirty clothes.

 

When they’d finished, bathroom cleaned and their father in bed, they both collapsed on the couch in front of an old western. As much as Dean loved cowboys, they couldn’t hold his attention tonight. A blue fairy constantly flitted through his mind, absorbing all his thoughts. It was so bad, even Sam noticed the distraction, but probably chalked it up to the usual issues.

 

The following weeks, Dean took as many opportunities as he could to work at Bobby’s. As soon as school was done, he drove over there to help around the garage, anything to get out of the house and also earn some money since his father had drank the last of it. He was exhausted when he got home, and after making and eating dinner, he went straight to bed. But, however busy he got he never stopped thinking about the fairy.  _ Had it all been a dream? His imagination?  _ He hoped not.

 

Cas was in his dreams, and when the alarm rang in the mornings, Dean woke up with a warm tingle in his chest, and every day he couldn’t go back to the tarn, that feeling sank into a cold hole in his gut.

 

He wasn’t even sure anymore that Cas was real, but he had to give it a chance so he drove out there once more. It felt different this time. For the first time, he wasn’t driving there to get away from a fight, instead he was going because he wanted to. 

 

Lightning bolts of nervous energy and anticipation shot through his body. His cheeks felt feverish hot and his hands sweaty and cold. He constantly had to switch the hand on the steering wheel to dry the other of on his jeans. It didn’t help much but pressing his palms against his thigh somehow made him feel slightly calmer. 

 

As he drove into the clearing, all the trees came alive, a cloud of birds lifted simultaneously and Dean couldn’t help but feel like it was an omen. He stayed in the car, watching the sun set before he could find the courage to open the door and walk down to the stone in the clearing. 

 

He half expected to find Cas there, half expected him to be a figment of his imagination. Dean moved slowly, almost in reverence. The forest was quiet again, the birds had all settled down in their nests and branches and only sporadic chirps could be heard. Small twigs on the mossy ground snapped under Dean’s feet. 

 

Cas wasn’t there. It had all been a dream.   
  
When the sunlight no longer reached the water surface, Dean called out for Cas. Clearly in vain. But then he heard wings and his name called and a blue shadow that almost collided with a tree. 

***

 

Sitting next to each other on the big white stone with grey and black spots, Dean told Cas about everything that had kept him from coming and Cas listened, and only interrupted to ask about the things he didn’t understand,  _ coz what is a bathroom, really? _

 

Cas told Dean how he had flown around, making loops with the birds and butterflies, how he’d cuddled the bunnies and taken care of his tarn and all the forest critters. He did not tell Dean how he had ached for him to come back, how sad and angry he had been when he didn’t show. 

 

“I’m glad you came back, Dean” Cas said and placed a trembling hand on Dean’s wrist. His thumb slowly stroking over the base of Dean’s thumb. Dean swallowed and took a deep breath, gazing out over the darkening water to cover the blush rising from his chest and above his ears. Dean slowly turned his hand palm up and felt his heart jump at least two beats when Cas’ slender fingers lace with his. Another deep breath before Dean dared look, first down at their entwined hands, following Cas’ arm with his gaze and then finally stopping at his twinkling blue eyes.

 

Looking into Cas’ eyes was like getting lost in the ripples of a spring brook or the waves of the sea. Dean’s stomach somersaulted as he leaned in closer to Cas. 

 

Cas eyes flitted between Dean’s mouth and eyes, almost making him cross eyed as Dean’s face came closer. They both closed their eyes when the tips of their noses brushed together and their lips finally met. 

 

When Dean finally opened his eyes again, he saw stars, in the sky and all around them. Did the sky fall down? He shook his head and took a confused look around them.

 

“What is it, Dean?” Cas’s concerned voice broke the silence.

 

Dean smiled and looked back at Cas again “ Um, I kinda thought the sky had fallen,” he smiled and nodded his head to their surroundings. Cas turned his head, he gave Dean a soft laugh and squeezed his hand when he realized what he had meant.

 

The moss and grass was glowing in the night, little twinkles of yellow light all around them where they sat. Hundreds of fireflies filled the dark. 

 

“It’s so beautiful, Cas,” Dean said breathlessly. 

 

Dean spent all the time he could in the forest with Cas. Many early evenings turned into late nights, stealing kisses and holding hands in the dim light. And even though pieces of his heart was left in the clearing everytime he left, he was happy, a feeling he didn’t have that often. Not like this. 

 

Sometimes when Dean got there Cas wasn’t waiting by the stone. The first time this had happened he called out for him and he could hear Cas’ melodic laughter nearby, “You’ll have to find me,” Cas taunted. “I left some clues on the stone.” Dean had looked down and there he’d found a twig with thick, dark green leaves that he’d seen before. Problem was, he’d seen them almost everywhere in the forest around the tarn. He looked down at the stone again and saw a feather, too. It had been brown and speckled with black and white, just like Ibis’. Triumphant, Dean had run over the narrow path to the west side of the tarn, where he found Cas, sitting underneath Ibis’ tree. 

 

Another time Cas had left him a flower and  some berries that, in combination, led Dean to the grove Cas had shown him the night before. He loved their little games. It made him feel special, like this was theirs and noone elses. Everything with Cas and the forest and the tarn made him feel relaxed, as if he could let his shoulders down and just be...him. No worries or problems would reach him in the company of Cas. He was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A simple word of appreciation is all it takes to make my day =) Please leave a comment and kudos!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for angst

Sam leaned against the doorframe to Dean’s room, his arms crossed over his chest. “So, are you gonna tell me about this crush of yours?” He gave his brother a challenging look.

 

“Crush? I don’t have a crush.” Dean didn’t look Sam in the eye and he tried desperately to fight of the heat that spread from his neck and up his ears. 

 

“Mhmm…” Sam pushed his shoulder from the doorframe and stepped into the room. His gangly body hovered over Dean where he sat on the edge of his bed. “So you being out all nights, coming home with a smile, humming and being absent-minded in general is because...?” 

 

Dean fixed his gaze on his linked hands hanging between his knees. 

 

The bed creaked when Sam sat down beside his brother. He bumped his shoulder into Dean’s side. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

 

Dean sighed and stroked his right hand over his face. “Yeah...I know.” He smiled at his brother.

 

“So...who is she?” 

 

Dean looked absently at the wall in front of him with a tiny smile still showing on his lips.

 

“Is it Lisa? Say it’s her! She’s always so nice.” Hope was written over Sam’s face. 

 

Dean glanced at him before he burst into laughter. “You look ridiculous!” he laughed again, but it faded. How was he supposed to explain to Sam that he was in love with a fairy? Cas being a boy would be easier to explain than the magical creature part.  

 

“Don’t try that with me, Dean!” Sam’s teenage voice cracked in his attempt to sound stern. 

 

Dean placed his hands on his knees and stood up. “ It’s...uhm...it’s not Lisa,” he mumbled.

 

“So there  _ is _ someone. HA! I knew it!” The triumph in Sam’s voice faltered when Dean turned towards him and with a sigh leaned back on the small desk. “What?” 

 

“It’s…” Dean sighed heavily. “...complicated”

 

Sam’s eyes went wide and his brows shot up high. “What? How?” He paused with his mouth ajar. “Oooh…” He looked his brother square in the eye. “It’s a guy, right?”

 

Dean took a deep breath to gain some time to think about his answer. Cas  _ was _ a guy, that was true, but how much could Dean tell without having to tell everything, and would Sam even believe him?

 

“Yeah,” he exhaled. “It’s a guy”

 

“Who?” 

 

“Ah, no one you know.”

 

“Then who is he?”

 

Dean took a step towards the door, “As I said, it’s complicated.” He turned and nodded at his brother. “Now, come on, let’s go make dinner before…”

 

“Before you have to go to meet your lover?” Sam teased.

 

“Oh, shut up, bitch,” Dean replied as he took to the stairs.   
  


“Jerk,” Sam exclaimed after him before following him downstairs.

  
  


***

 

Cas was in trouble. He knew it the moment he saw the other fairies in his forest. Even more ominous was the fact that Her Majesty had made her way to his little domain. He was a simple tarn fairy with only a single area to care for, no authority over anything else. To have the highest ranking fairy visiting could only mean one of two things: either he’d done something really great… or something terribly wrong. 

 

He had a feeling he knew which one it was.

 

It was futile to hide, but he tried anyway, standing flush against a tree. His heart was pounding in his chest and he had to remind himself to breathe. His hands were cold and his body tense. 

 

This was not good. Not good at all. Could he flee? Was that a possibility? No. He had to stand and face Her. He took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the tree. 

 

“Castiel.” Her Majesty’s voice was mild but Cas could detect a hint of admonishing in it.

 

“Your Majesty,” Cas bowed deep. “What brings you to my little corner of the forest?” He continued, trying hard to cover the tremble in his voice. 

 

“Oh, just something a little birdy told me…” she said with a chilling smile. Cas didn’t trust that smile -- something lurked under the calm surface, something that scared him to bits. 

 

Whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

 

***

 

The forest seemed quieter than usual. Dean closed the car door and walked down to the glade. The tarn lay like a mirror between the trees, the animals and bugs nowhere to be seen or heard, not even the birds were making a sound. 

 

_ It’s like everything died here _ , Dean thought as he reached the stone. Cas was not there waiting for him. Dean looked around to see if there was any clues to where to find him, but there was nothing. He took a thorough look on the ground to see if the clues had been swept away by a breeze or something. 

 

Nothing.  

 

Dean sat down on the boulder, but couldn’t find the peace he usually felt. He shifted repeatedly, trying to figure out why he was so unsettled, but nothing helped.

 

“Cas?” he called out over the tarn. Still nothing.

 

“Caas?” He stood up on the stone as he tried again. No answer. “This isn’t funny! Just come out from wherever you’re hiding” He expected to hear Cas’ babbling laughter, but the forest remained silent.

 

“CAAAS!” His voice echoed over the water. His eyes filled with tears as panic rose in his chest. Though the feeling of not getting any air was overpowering, he still managed to hold himself upright by clinging to the tree on top of the stone. 

 

_ Where was Cas? _

 

Dean leapt down from the stone and tried to get through the forest to see if he could find Cas. Maybe he was hurt? But he has healing powers. Trapped? How? Dozens of scenarios, each one worse than the one before, ran through Dean’s mind as he made his way through the dim forest. 

 

He was panting; the terrain appeared to be harder to get through than ever before. It was like it was actively working against him. Dean attempted to call for Cas and even Ibis, but the vegetation seemed to eat the sound. When the last light was gone, Dean admitted defeat and he turned back to the glade. 

 

Beaten, he sank down onto the stone again. His body tucked against the trunk, he listened to his heart’s strained beat against his ribcage and his panicked breathing. He pulled his legs to his chest and hugged them tight, his head on his knees.

 

He ignored the tears falling from his eyes, the damp spot on his jeans. He sat there, rocking himself until he began shivering. He fished his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. Well past midnight. 

 

Cas wasn’t coming.

 

Staring blankly in front of him, he walked back to the car. It took him another twenty minutes until he was able to start the engine. 

 

For weeks, Dean went back with the hope of finding Cas there waiting, and every night he went home with tears in his eyes and an aching hole in his stomach. 

 

He told Sam everything when Sam asked if he was okay with a worried frown. Or, almost everything. Not about Cas being a fairy, but everything else....So Dean told Sam that the guy that had made him so happy was nowhere to be found, that he had disappeared without a trace and that Dean was miserable. 

 

Sam was very supportive, trying his best to make his brother think of other things. Sometimes it helped, but just as often Dean only gave him a sad smile, thanked him for his efforts and excused himself to his room or to the garage where he worked on the car. 

 

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A simple comment and a click on the kudos-button will make my day! Follow me on tumblr @zummar


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drupelets = "any of the small individual drupes forming a fleshy aggregate fruit such as a blackberry or raspberry."

Dean didn’t know if he would ever get over this, not fully. The ache and confusion numbed, but didn’t go away. For four years Dean lived with the pain, slowly adapting to everyday life again, but he never forgot. Instead, he worked at Bobby’s, saving money for the day when he would be able to leave his father’s house.

 

Sam was no longer the gangly teenage boy with a broken voice. He had grown past his brother and was now a tall muscular man. Although they were so very different, they both considered the other one their best friend.

 

Overall, it was a pretty good time in Dean’s life and the prospect of leaving John in the near future added to that feeling. Sam was going away to continue his studies and Dean, well Dean didn’t have that much of a set plan. First he was going to drive his brother to college and then, who knew?

 

Two weeks after Sam’s graduation, Dean was awakened by something knocking on his bedroom window. For a brief moment, even after all this time, his sleep addled brain decided it was Cas, pushing him out of bed and towards the window before the hope could die.

 

Somehow, the sight of what was actually at his window was stranger: a rugged little owl pecking frantically on the glass. Dean blinked and opened the window,  the owl wasting no time jumping through.

 

“Ibis?” He held out his hand and Ibis made a soft “hoot” as she jumped up onto his palm.

 

“What are you doing here?” Dean patted her on the back just like Cas had taught him so many years before. Ibis bumped her head against his chest and he carefully sat down on the bed.

 

“Dean?” a sleepy Sam appeared in the doorway, yawning “Who are you talking to?”

 

“Sam, come in here, but don’t make any big or sudden movements, okay?” Dean said softly. Sam made a confused frown but nodded as he stepped in. “Oh, and can you close the door?”

 

Sam did as he was asked and walked over to the bed. “Holy shit, that’s a bird, Dean!” He exclaimed when he got close enough to see what was in Dean’s hand.

 

“Don’t scare her,” Dean said, his voice soft. He was still stroking her back when Sam climbed into the bed beside them. “This is Ibis.”

 

Sam stared at the owl hooting contently in Dean’s hand. “Okay?” he dragged the word out and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

 

Dean sighed, realizing it was time for him to tell Sam the _whole_ story about that mysterious boy that he had met all those years ago.

 

“You remember that guy that disappeared?”  

 

“Mmm, yeah, but what has that got to do with the fact that there is an owl cuddling with you right now?”

 

Dean hesitated. This was going to be hard to explain. He took a deep breath and began telling the story about Cas. How they met, how they fell in love, and all the things Cas had taught him about nature.

 

“And…” Dean paused shortly before blurting out, “He’s a tarn fairy.” He held his breath as he waited for Sam’s response.

 

“A fairy? Dean…” he shook his head as he got up from the bed. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

 

Totally taken aback from this response, Dean faltered to answer.

 

“There is no such thing as fairies, Dean!” Sam’s voice was hard and cold. Every word felt like a blow to Dean’s stomach. “Just tell me the truth!”

 

“Damn it, Sam, I am! I’m telling you exactly what happened and I think that the fact that there’s a freakin’ owl in my room proves it.” He dropped his head against the wall with a thump. Tears burning behind his eyelids as all the memories of Cas came back, how happy they’d been and the little glimmer of hope that had sparked upon seeing Ibis again. The owl hooted at Dean.

 

“Fuck! Okay, I...I’ll try to believe this, however crazy it seems.” Sam sat down on the edge of the bed again, raking his hands through his hair.

 

“Why would I lie?” Dean’s voice was barely audible “It’s such an unbelievable story...How, _why_ would I make this up?”

 

“Yeah, I don’t know.” Sam turned towards his brother, tucking one foot under his thigh and the other as support on the floor. “Can I, ehum, can I pet her?”

 

Dean gave him a look and then whispered to Ibis “What do you think, Ibis? He’s a good kid, just a little new at this...like I was when Cas…” His voice died off.

 

Ibis tilted her head almost ninety full degrees, locking her eyes with Dean’s. Dean reached out a hand to his brother, “Here, give me your hand.”

 

He did as Cas had done when he introduced Ibis to Dean. Taking Sam’s hand in his, he ushered Ibis to jump over. Sam didn’t flinch when the little owl jumped into his palm, he just smiled and pulled her against his chest.

 

“Aww, she’s adorable.” He had his full attention focused on Ibis, petting her back and earning her signature bump of her head against him. “Hmm, Dean…?” Sam adjusted on the bed. “What is this?”

 

Dean bent forward to see what Sam meant. Around Ibis’ left leg was a small pouch of blue fabric. Dean reached out and loosened it. Carefully, he opened it. It unfolded like a flower in his hand, revealing several kinds of flowers and berries. Dean’s heart swelled with emotion and he gave his brother a happy smile.

 

“He’s alive, and he wants me to find him,” he breathed, showing Sam the things in his hand.

 

“Wha- how do you know?” Sam bent forward carefully.

 

Dean sniffed and wiped away a tear with the back of his hand. “It was a game we played. Sometimes, when he knew I was coming, he’d leave little clues to where I could find him in the forest. Like a twig from a certain tree or berries to find him where they grew.” He poked the berries with his index finger. “This is his way of telling me where he is!” New tears fell down his cheeks and trickled past the corners of his smiling mouth.

 

Sam placed Ibis on the bed beside him and she immediately flew up to Dean’s shoulder. She bumped his cheek and gave him a small peck with her beak. “Hey. Are you hungry?” Ibis hooted her _yes_ and Dean sent his brother to get some food for her. He soon came back with a plate with minced meat and a bowl of water. He placed it on the desk and Ibis took off from Dean’s shoulder and made a loop around the room before landing at the desk. Hooting happily, she began her feast.

 

“So…” Sam took the cloth from Dean. “What can we find out from these?”

 

Dean was pleased to see his brother caught up by the mystery and eager to help, no matter whether he believed Dean’s story about Cas being a fairy or not.

 

Sam flipped through everything, picking up a berry and examining it closely. The apple-red berry was made of small drupelets but were not as soft as the raspberry. It was smaller and was cradled in a green leaf basket. There was also a twig with small, leathery dark green leafs and two small white flowers. And lastly, there was a stem with two small, light pink flowers rounding off the collection.

 

“Here.” Sam gave the items back to Dean. “I’ll be right back,” he said walking out into the corridor. When he came back he was carrying his laptop. “Let’s do some research,” he said excitedly.

 

Dean got off the bed and punched the start button on his own laptop. He hardly ever used it, as it was old and slow, but for this it should do. Slowly, it came to life and just as Dean finally had google open Sam announced he’d found the apple-red berry.

 

“It’s a baked apple berry, apparently most common in Ontario, Canada,” he explained.

 

“Oh, yay, that’s a small area to search,” Dean said sarcastically, making his brother laugh shortly.

 

Sam reached for the twig with the white flowers and started his next search while Dean looked for the small light pink ones. After a good five minutes he finally found what he thought was right, _Linnaea borealis._

 

“What the fuck?” Dean leaned heavy against the chair’s back. He opened his mouth to say something more but couldn’t quite find the words.

 

“What?” Sam stared at him over the laptop.

 

Dean held up the tiny flower to his brother. “This, this little thing!” he draw a sharp breath. “The only thing I can find when I search for this _‘linnaea borealis_ ’ is that a Swedish scientist named it after himself, ‘cos it’s his favorite flower. Oh,  and that it’s common in _SWEDEN_!”

 

He dropped his hand and let it dangle over the back of the chair. “What if he’s in Sweden, Sam?” He looked at the flower once more with despondently.

 

“Let me see that.”

 

Dean placed the delicate flower in his brother’s outstretched hand. Sam hummed a little as he got to work. Dean tried not to let that seed of despair grow as he watched.

 

“Ah, but Dean, this is good news!” His whole face lit up in a big smile. “It _is_ common in Sweden and all, but in English it’s called ‘twin flowers’ and those also grow in Ontario, Canada!” He turned his laptop towards Dean. “And this is a bear berry, also native to Ontario, Canada.”

 

Dean lit up. “So I need to search in Ontario? No flights?” He sighed in relief. Searching an immensely large area was imminently preferable to taking a flight he probably couldn’t afford (and he wouldn’t have to face the fear of flying he refused to admit to, either, so that was a bonus).

 

Sam chuckled at his brother “No, no flights. We’ll take the car.”

 

“You’re going with me?” Dean asked in surprise.

 

“Of course I am! Wouldn’t miss this for the world. And besides, it gives us a good reason to leave this place even sooner than planned.” He bobbed his head towards the hall as he closed the lid on the laptop.

 

To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

They left two days later. Ibis mostly seated on the steering wheel or someone’s shoulder. She seemed content with not flying, but when the car was parked she flew and jumped around in the car, always with a happy little hoot to spare, unless she was hungry. 

 

Turned out, Ibis was a rather ‘hangry’ bird when time between meals had been too long. 

Sam and Dean took care of her the best the knew how. Caring for an owl was somehow not something either of them had learned in school. They talked to her and fed her the finest meats they could get their hands on, earning quite a few raised eyebrows from various waitresses and roadhouse cooks when they asked for an extra small serving of raw meat, preferably finely chopped. Sam had made a plastic box into a feeding station for the owl, and when she had eaten she often flew up to one of their shoulders, settled in and fell asleep. 

 

After more than a week on the road, it was clear that Ibis found Sam’s shoulder and long hair to be the best sleeping place.  Sam felt honored everytime she landed and nested there, however stiff he felt afterwards, not wanting to move too much. 

 

When they finally got to Ontario, they found themselves wondering how and where to start looking. Ibis could probably show them, but how were they supposed to follow her? 

Deciding to ask around, they talked to the scrawny clerk at the motel by the name of Alfie. He said he couldn’t help them, but that they should ask Rufus, a man living in a cabin by a lake in the woods. Alfie gave them directions to Rufus’ cabin. 

 

As the brothers turned and walked out the door, Alfie shouted after them, “Oh, and you might wanna bring some whiskey or something!” 

 

“Huh? What?” Dean turned in the doorway to face the clerk.

 

“Uh, yeah...he’s a bit of a-” Alfie lifted his hand as if holding a glass and pretended to drink.

 

“Oh…” Dean gave Sam a look and patted him on the shoulder. “Looks like a trip to the liquor store might be in order then.” 

 

They found the place without problem, thanks to Alfies directions. They parked outside a small log cabin, its wood old and dark. A thin swirl of smoke rose from the chimney, indicating there was someone home, or at least in the proximity. The gravel crunched under their feet as they made their way up to the front porch. 

 

Dean raised his hand to knock on the door. 

 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” A harsh voice interrupted him, Deans knuckles half an inch from the door. 

 

Dean and Sam turned their heads to the left and found themselves staring at the barrel of a rifle. 

 

“Get away from my property,” the black man with the rifle said calmly and shooed at them with his weapon. Both brothers backed off the porch, hands raised.

 

“I’m sorry sir, we were just looking for a man named Rufus” Dean said, right foot on the porch’s first step and left foot still on the porch. 

 

“Yeah? And what do a couple of out-of-towners need with him?” His eyes narrowed and he took another step forward, forcing Dean and Sam back down to the gravel. 

 

“We just need some help finding a place.” Sam took the bag he was holding and reached out to the man. “We brought this in exchange for the help.” 

 

The man took the bag, still pointing the rifle at the brothers. 

 

“What are you doing?” Dean wheezed at Sam in horror as he watched the booze exchange hands..

 

“I think this guy is Rufus.” Sam whispered back. They looked back up at the man. He wore moss green cargo pants, his shoes were probably timberland, and a grey t-shirt peeked out from under the green plaid shirt that he had on top. The only thing not in a dull green was his hat, which was bright orange. 

 

“All right then,” the man grumbled as he lowered the rifle and hefting the bag that Sam had given him. “So maybe I  _ am _ Rufus.” He turned to the door and went inside, leaving Sam and Dean at the front of the porch. They slowly let their hands down, giving each other bewildered looks.

 

“What do we do now?” Dean whispered to Sam who shrugged and pursed his lips.

 

“I dunno.”

 

“Don’t just stand there like deer caught in the headlights!” Rufus shouted from inside the cabin, making both brothers leap into action, taking the steps in giant bounds. They were inside the cabin within seconds. 

 

It was dark, the only light coming from the windows and a lamp over the sink. Rufus poured himself a drink, not asking if the boys wanted anything but pointed at a brown and yellow upholstered couch.

 

“Sit,” he grumbled and placed himself in an armchair that matched the couch. 

 

Dean dragged his fingers over the nap of the couch, still a little on edge from the sudden change in the man’s demeanor. He cleared his throat and reached into his pocket to pull out a small tin.  It had been perfect to hold the berries and twigs Cas had sent him to keep them safe. He leaned forward as he opened the tin and placed it on the table in front of him. 

 

“Do you know where all of these grow together?” 

 

Rufus stared at the tin, swirling the liquid in the glass. He just sat there, silently eyeing the tin. 

 

“It...it’s baked apple berry, bear berry and twin flowers,” Dean said, making himself stop before he began rambling too much. 

 

Rufus took a sip from his glass and reached for the tin. “Yeah, I know what those are, boy,” he sighed, “Now, how did you get them?”

 

The brothers shifted in their seats.  _ How did they explain this without sounding like crazy people? _

 

“I-” Dean looked at his brother for support. Sam shrugged, having little to offer on that point. “I got them from a friend.” Floundering, it was the best he could come up with. 

 

“Huh, a _ friend _ …” Rufus did not sound like he believed it. He slowly lifted the blue piece of fabric out of the tin and gave the brothers a long, calculating gaze. “This-” he waved it in front of him, “-this ain’t no  _ ordinary  _ blue fabric.”

 

Dean gulped and cleared his throat once again. “Wha...what do you mean?” His hands felt sweaty and cold, and he rubbed the palms against his thighs nervously.

 

“Oh, boy...what have you gotten yourself into?” Rufus shook his head slowly. “You are in some deep trouble boy, chasing after a fairy.” 

 

Dean saw Sam’s eyes widen at Rufus’s casual words, proving Dean’s story.

 

Rufus swallowed the last of his drink and placed the glass on the table with a loud klang, “You should go home again. Go home to your ordinary lives, forget about the fairy, forget about it all. These things never end well!” he said harshly, leaning forward in his seat and his eyes fixed on Dean who could feel them burn into his soul like lasers. 

 

Dean had unconsciously leaned back in the couch. “I don’t think I can do that, sir.” His voice was barely a whisper, he wasn’t even sure that anyone had heard him. He gathered himself and said, this time louder, “What do  _ you _ know about fairies?” Dean meet Rufus’ gaze and saw pain quickly shooting across his face before it was locked away again.

 

“Maybe I don’t wanna talk about it,” Rufus murmured as he got up from the armchair and headed off to the kitchen area. Sam and Dean watched him pour himself another glass of the auburn liquid, at least a double this time. 

 

The man sat back down with a heavy sigh. He stroked his face with his hand and looked straight at Dean, then he gave Sam a compassionate look. Sam shifted uncomfortably beside Dean on the couch. 

 

“I  _ really _ don’t wanna talk about it, but-” he turned his gaze down to the plain weave rug under the table “- I think I don’t have a choice.”  His voice was no longer harsh and he didn’t sound angry or distant anymore. It was soft, filled with love -  _ No _ , Dean realized.  _ It was filled with heartache.  _

 

Sam and Dean silently waited for him to continue. Rufus picked at the fringe on the rug, seemingly far away in his thoughts. “Sir?” Sam said cautiously.

 

Rufus leaned back in his chair with a sigh and began.

 

“I was no older than you-” he pointed the hand holding the glass at Dean, “I met a girl, and she was  _ the most beautiful _ creature I’ve ever seen. Her hair was as dark as the night, her complexion a tint of blue only found in twilight.”

 

Dean swallowed hard. Rufus’ description was way to familiar to be comfortable.

 

“We fell in love, and for months it was the happiest I’ve ever felt.” He smiled “But then…” his voice died off, as did the smile, and he got a pained look on his face “...but then one day she wasn’t there anymore. I couldn’t find her no matter how hard I looked, I searched for  _ days _ and nothing.” 

 

He turned his gaze to the windows, staring out over the small lawn, down over the waterside and finally far out over the water. The sun was setting, the cabin inexorably growing darker with every minute. 

 

One tear rolled down Rufus cheek. Absentmindedly, he wiped it off on his sleeve before he looked back at the boys in his couch. 

 

“So, what did you do? Did she never try to contact you again?” Sam asked, and Dean dreaded the answer.

 

“Yeah, she did.” His whole demeanor changed; a cold undertone could be heard in his voice and he pursed his lips slightly. “One morning I found a piece of her dress, tied into a pouch, right out there on the porch.” 

 

Dean’s heart sank. Everything was way too familiar. He whined at the dawning realisation that maybe, just maybe Cas had played him. No, he couldn’t believe that. could he? “Did you find her?” Dean said, fear clasping its grip harder and harder around his throat. 

 

“Yeah, I found her…” he took a mouth full from his glass and swallowed it with a grimace. “In the pouch were three plants, just like yours: a twig of a bearberry, a baked apple berry and-” he looked Dean straight in the eye, “-a twin flower.”

 

Dean felt the heat rise from his chest and neck.  _ What did this all mean?  _

 

“So that means you know exactly where to find…” Sam’s voie died off, not knowing quite which word to use for Cas at the moment. 

 

“I do.” Rufus shifted in his seat, making the armchair creek 

 

“Okay.” Dean placed his hands on his knees to stand up. “Just point us in the right direction and we’ll be out of your hair.” He really didn’t want to drag this out any longer and the anxiety that was on the rise in his chest made him want to move. Sam moved to stand with him.

 

“Sit down boys!” Rufus said harshly and the brothers fell back into their seats again. “I do know where to find the fairies, but it’s not that simple. They sent you this, coz they want you to find them, but if you do go there, you have to know the consequences.” He emptied his glass for the second time and put it down on the table.

 

“If you go there, it’s not just walking up to your loved one, kiss and then live happily ever after, okay?” He gave Dean a tormented look and Dean nodded unsurely at Rufus. “There will be trials.”

 

“Trials?” Dean frowned. “What? Like a court?”

 

A short, contemptful laugh slipped out of Rufus. “No. Actual trials, like tests. They’re gonna test you and your fairy to see if you’re pure enough to enter their realm.” 

 

Dean stroked a palm over his face. “So, what kind of test?” 

 

“I…” Rufus hesitated. “I don’t know.” He shrugged and turned his face down, looking at his fingers scraping at the nap of the armrests.

 

“Wait, how?” Sam leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “How do you  _ not  _ know?”

 

Dean was wondering the same thing. Had Rufus chickened out? Had he not even tried to win back his lover?

 

The tormented expression on Rufus’ face was back. “Coz I didn’t pass them!” he shouted. Closing his eyes briefly, his voice softened. “And...” he sighed heavily, “and when you don’t pass them, they erase your memories of them.” He leaned his head on the back of the armchair, staring up at the ceiling. 

 

“But why?” Dean’s chest felt compressed, like the air was too thick to breathe.

 

“So I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone else about the actual trials, thereby ensuring no one can cheat.”

 

Dean cleared his throat. “W-what happened after that?” He stroked his palms over his jeans, calming.

 

“That’s it. They erased my memory of the trials and then they let me go…” 

 

“But you remember everything else?” 

 

“Yeah, unfortunately.” Rufus sighed. “I wish they’d just erased every goddamn thing, but instead I remember it all, everything that was wonderful and…” he stared out at the setting sun, lost in thought. Then suddenly he got up and walked out the door, Dean and Sam gave the other a confused look, “...are you coming?” Rufus voice could be heard from the porch. 

 

Rufus was standing at the far end of the porch, beside a swing in dark green wood and a cushion that at some point in time had been a light yellow. He leaned his hands against the railing. 

 

“You see that mountain over there?” he nodded towards the lake “The highest tip, the one still touched by the sun...at the foot of that mountain, that’s where you have to go.” He turned, leaned his back against the railing instead and crossed his hands over his chest “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Rufus pushed away and walked straight between the boys, closing the door behind him.

 

Dean stared at the door, then at his brother and back to the door again. He ran his hands down the sides of his worn leather jacket.

 

“Okay...so...uhm, we should go then?” He scratched his scalp, turned and walked off the porch, closely followed by Sam.

 

To be continued...


	7. Chapter 7

Sam talked Dean into staying at the motel until the next morning. He was probably right, they would need their sleep, Dean thought as he lay on the hard mattress, staring at the ceiling. Time was running away from him, too many thoughts and too little sleep. He turned to his side, tucked his hand under the pillow, trying to find a comfortable position. His watch made ticking noises, usually barely audible but now, in the faint light of the motel room, it filled his ears with it’s insistent “tick, tock, tick, tock”. Dean sighed and rolled over to his stomach instead. The pillow felt lumpy, the covers too warm. He flipped back to his back and kicked the covers to the side. 

 

What was going to happen tomorrow? Would he be worthy of the trials? Would Cas be there? Did he need to be saved? Had he tricked Dean into this? Why, after so long? Dean’s head hurt. All his thoughts flew like unsettled birds through his mind. He got up and got a glass of water when he heard a familiar hoot and a swoosh when Ibis landed on his naked shoulder. Her feet was warm against his skin and her claws pinched a little. 

 

“Hi there Ibis,” he said with a weak smile. She hooted and bopped her head against his cheek. It felt calming. He took her in his hand and settled back into bed. Half seated, he held her to his chest and petted her. 

 

He fell asleep like that, the soothing motion finally calming his restless thoughts.

 

When Dean woke, Sam was unpacking a bag with breakfast. They ate under silence before heading off. 

 

“How do you feel?” Sam asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

 

“Fine.” 

 

“What if it takes a lot of time?” 

 

Dean gave his brother a confused look. “What do you mean?”

 

Sam shifted in his seat, combing his hair behind the ears. “I just mean, I did some research and, a lot of the lore about fairy-realms is that time is different there...maybe it’ll feel like 2 hours for you but here, for me, it’ll be two weeks? Or even longer?” Sam asked fearfully.

 

“Oh…” this was nothing he’d considered before. time had always seemed the same when he was with Cas, but that was not in a fairy-realm, was it? “I dunno, I mean, you can’t stay forever.” He fell silent. 

 

No more words were spoken until they reached the road leading to a camping sight which, according to Sam’s google search, was the closest they could get by car. 

 

Dean stroked his hand over the door frame, leaving a trail where dust from the road had been wiped off. 

 

Sam was watching over the roof, a look of worry poorly hidden on his face. Dean locked the car and tossed the keys to his brother. “Here, you take good care of her, okay?”

 

Sam caught the keys with one hand and a stunned look, “Yeah...sure, sure I will. You know I will.” 

 

Dean glanced at his brother, how he stood there staring at the keys in his hand. 

 

“So, if i got this right,” Sam said after clearing his throat. “We only need to follow this path along the water and we should find the foot of the mountain.” He pointed to a narrow way through the woods. 

 

“Yeah, that’s what he said,” Dean confirmed softly. Without waiting for a response, Dean started walking, Sam following quickly.

 

The morning was slowly turning into early day and the sun was piercing through the foliage, a soft breeze played with the leaves. Dean felt the same calm he once had visiting Cas’ tarn. 

 

A sharp turn in the path had them rounding a boulder where they found an opening in the foot of the mountain. They walked slowly towards the entrance. The cave didn’t seem to be that deep but Dean could feel his heart pounding nervously against his ribcage, quicker and harder with each step. 

 

Dean took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s do this.” 

 

He turned to his brother only to find Sam was no longer at his side. Panicking, he called out, “Sam?! Where are you?” 

 

“Dean? Where did you go? You were right in front of me!” Sam’s voice was close, like he was standing just an arms length away.

 

“I’m right here.” Dean couldn’t keep the hint of irritation out of his voice. “Just take a step forward, there must be some kind of fairy magic thingy going on here.”

 

Someone cleared their throat on the other side of Dean and he jerked around.

 

“I’m at the entrance now.” That was Sam’s voice again, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

 

“What the fuck is going one?” Dean murmured as he walked up to the cave. “Okay, Sam, looks like I have entered another realm here, see ya!”  _ I hope _ he silently added as he walked into the darkness ahead. 

 

As the darkness folded around him he could hear a distant “ _ Be careful _ ” from his brother and then -- total silence. He wasn’t sure if he’d gone deaf and blind or what was happening. He stopped, tried to orientate but there was nothing. 

 

Not one single sound and no light. 

 

Standing still, Dean found couldn’t reach the walls of the cave. He tried to find anything solid by reaching his hands out, but nothing. The only thing telling him he wasn’t just floating in empty space was the ground underneath his feet. He took a deep breath to keep the panic from taking over when a throbbing yellow light appeared a few feet ahead of him. He took a cautious step forward. His foot hit hard ground and he took another, slowly closing the space between him and the light. 

 

Finally standing in front of it he gave it a careful look. It was a  _ doorknob _ ? He touched the knob with two fingers and as soon his fingers did the light spread and a white wooden door with gold tendrils weaving across it appeared. The doorknob stopped glowing and turned into solid gold. 

 

Dean gripped the knob and was about to try to open the door when he noticed the doorframe. It was filled with a long list of names, some in black, some in gold. He read them through and almost at the bottom of the list he saw it: ‘Rufus Turner’. It was written in black and just below his name Dean saw his own, written in white.  _ What did this all mean?  _ Dean gave the frame another look. There were a lot of names in black, a mere handful in gold and one, his own, in white. A nagging feeling pushed at him to find out why but now was probably not the time. 

 

He turned the knob and pushed open the door. 

 

The sight that met him was like nothing he’d ever seen in his life. The walls were covered in white silk curtains and littered with small yellow lights. The floors looked like marble and from the roof hung large crystal chandeliers. In the middle of the room was a table filled with food: sandwiches, burgers, turkey, fruit and vegetables from every corner of the world. To the left was another table, almost as big as the first. It still held food but this one was filled with desserts: chocolate cakes, cookies, ice cream in every flavour and pies.The smell in the room was intoxicating. 

 

Dean stepped inside and the door silently closed behind him and disappeared. He took a deep breath and ventured out into the large hall.  _ What kind of quest was this? Had it begun even?  _ Dean walked over to the table with food. He looked at it with curiosity, examining every , some filled with food he couldn’t even pronounce. His stomach growled.  _ Should I eat something?  _ He thought to himself as he passed a steak with bearnaise and fries, it looked so good. He shook his head to snap out of it, he should probably not eat this food, he reasoned. 

 

He turned around only to find himself facing the desert table; a big cherry pie with crust in a laced pattern between a bowl of whipped cream and fruit salad catching his eye. He leaned down and inhaled the sweet aroma of the cherries mixed with the buttery smell of the crust. He closed his eyes, travelling in his mind to warm summer days at Bobby’s when his wife had forced them to take a break from whatever car they were working on and come and help her eat the freshly made pie. Never did they say no to that. Especially Dean. It was mouthwatering, Dean could feel the saliva almost running out of his mouth.

 

He jerked up. _ This was not...no…  _ Dean shook his head,  _ not here to eat, here to find Cas.  _

 

Beside the dessert table was another one, filled with all the drink imaginable: wine, lemonade, cocktails and beer. For a long while he stood there, eyes glued to the brown sparkling beverage.Taking a deep breath, he tore himself away, taking a step to put some distance between him and it all. 

 

Looking to his right he saw another door at the end of the room, he gave the pie one last longing gaze before walking over to the door. He turned the knob and was instantly blinded by a bright light. He held up an arm to cover his eyes but stepped over the threshold anyway, feet landing on soft grass. 

 

His eyes slowly adjusted to his surroundings. The greenest grass he’d ever seen covered billowing hills, while straight ahead an enormous tree and the path leading to it was lined with bushes. Everything seemed to glisten in the sun, like ice crystals and fallen snow. 

 

It was absolutely stunning, and Dean had to pause to truly appreciate the atmosphere, taking deep breaths and trying to make sense of it all. 

 

Walking up to one of the bushes, Dean saw what had what  _ looked _ like blue flowers from far away, but on closer look, they turned out to be sapphires shaped as droplets strewn all over it’s branches. A soft breeze ruffled through the leaves making all the gems tinkle. 

 

Dean knelt before the sapphire bush, the stones reminded him of Cas, of his blue eyes that would twinkle in the setting sun. A sharp sorrow shot through Dean, memories of Cas and him at the tarn rolling over him like tidal waves; the fun, the love and then that horrible day Dean couldn’t find him there. Years of wondering and longing, of not being able to let go, because how  _ could  _ he ever let go of something that had saved him? Something that had made Dean feel like he was worth something, just by being him.

 

Tears welled up in his eyes and he got up from the ground, drying his eyes with the back of his hand. 

 

The big tree, he realized when he approached it, had a trunk made out of gold, and diamonds hung like flower buds weighing the branches down. The only thing seemingly ordinary with the tree were the leaves. 

 

Dean made his way round the trunk. About halfway around, he noticed the light getting dimmer and the branches above him began creaking softly. Something pulled at his waist. 

 

Startled, he looked down to find a golden branch snaking over his stomach, pulling him against the trunk. Dean grabbed the branch, trying to yank it away but it wouldn’t budge. His fingers slid uselessly across its surface. He tried to beat on it but nothing helped. It pulled him flush against the trunk, hard enough to keep him there but not enough to make him lose air. Dean attempted another whack at the branch, nothing. 

 

The world around him appeared to melt away, the vibrant colors and bright light fading around him. In the pitch dark he only heard his own strained breaths and heartbeat. He closed his eyes.  _ How the hell am I getting out of this?  _ Panic rose again, he could hear his heartbeat increase. 

 

_ Lub-dub, LUB-dub, LUB-DUB!  _

 

It was an overwhelming sound and he screamed,“STOP!” 

 

He’d expected the sound to bounce off walls or create some sort of echo but it was like screaming into a pillow, the sound of his voice immediately dying. The sensation of not being able to get air suddenly took power over him.

 

Desperate, fighting once again to get out of the hold that had him trapped against the tree, he gripped the branch with both his hands. He gave it a good pull and fell to the ground. It was hard ground once more, not soft grass and, surprised by this, he stayed down until he felt his breathing even out. 

 

Finally, Dean rolled over to his stomach, getting to his hands and knees. That’s when he saw it. In the distance, in a faint light, was something - or someone. Approaching the bundle, which looked like a burlap sack, perhaps big enough to fit a grown man, he thought he could see it moving. 

 

Two feet away from the bundle he could definitely see it was moving. He held his breath and moved in closer. A quiet moan came from it and Dean quickly crouched beside the bundle. He pinched a small piece of the burlap between his fingers and slowly pulled it off who or whatever was underneath. He could hear his heart beating again, the whooshing sound of blood in his ears making him dizzy but he kept going.  

 

The first thing he noticed was the hair, unruly and black as the night. With a hopeful gasp, he pulled the rest of the burlap off in one go.

 

“Cas?” Dean inhaled, “Oh god! It’s you!”

 

Dean picked him up in his arms, his heart aching at the sight of Cas’ arms covered in cuts and bruises and tied behind his back. Dean could see Cas struggling to focus his eyes in the direction of a familiar voice.

 

“Dean?” he wheezed, then started coughing. 

 

Dean held him close to his chest carefully rocking him in his arms. “Who, did this to you? Why?” Dean repeated it as he supported Cas’ body against his chest. Cas’ head fell heavily against Dean’s shoulder.

 

“Dean, you’re here,” he whispered, drifting in and out of consciousness. Dean caressed Cas’ face with his free hand.

 

“What happened?” Dean kissed his forehead. Cas’ head lolled back and he looked at Dean with a strange grin. Dean had never seen him do that face before, it sent chills down his spine. 

 

Cas laughed. “You don’t belong here…” his voice was clearer now.

 

“Cas, what...why are you saying that?” Dean fought to keep the tears from clouding his sight. “Did you not want me to come here?”

 

Cas loosened himself from Dean’s arms and laughed at him once more. “You’re just a human, what could you ever bring of worth?” Cas mocked him as he turned to face Dean. 

 

Cas’ nose almost touched Dean’s. “You’re not even a particularly good man, am I right?”

 

The tears burned in Dean’s eyes. Why would Cas say these horrible things to him? “Why, Cas?” he buried his face in his arms and pulled his knees to his chest. 

 

“A despicable excuse for a man, isn’t that what you are?” Cas’ taunting kept on, more name calling, ugly things that Dean only thought about himself in his solitude. Why would Cas do this? Didn’t they love each other? “I just played with you. Did you really believe it all to be  _ true love _ ?” 

 

“SHUT UP!” Dean screamed and this time the sound reverberated around him. “I don’t believe you, you’re not Cas, not the real Cas, not  _ my _ Cas,” he sobbed. 

 

Dean dried his eyes with the back of his hands, wiping them off on his jeans. He glared at Cas and bit out angrily, “You are  _ not _ my Cas!” 

 

A relieved sigh came from the Cas in front of him and he vanished before Dean’s eyes. Dean looked around in confusion. He was all alone again. 

The circle of light began to expand and a door came in sight. It was very similar to the first one: it had the same white color with the golden tendrils running across it. Dean looked at the frame, finding the same names. There was Rufus’, still black, and underneath it he saw his own. No longer in white though. It had turned it was gold. 

 

A cautious hope spread in Dean’s chest and he turned the knob, opening the door. 

 

He didn’t make it fully out of the door before a blue shadow crashed into him.

 

“Dean! You made it!” Cas arms was tightly wrapped around his neck and Dean wrapped his around Cas’ back.

 

“I did?” Dean gave Cas another hug and pushed him away so he could look at him properly. His arms were smooth; no cuts and bruises. A rush of relief flowed through Dean. “You look good, Cas,” he sighed happily.

 

“You too.” Cas giggled. “I’ve missed you.” A shadow fell over his face and he reached his hand up to Dean’s cheek. “I’m sorry,” he gazed into Dean’s eyes. “I’m so sorry Dean. My test was to make you believe you weren’t loved by me,. I hated to be forced to do that to you.” 

 

Dean took a step back, horrified. “So, that  _ was _ you? How  _ could  _ you?” 

 

“Dean...I’m sorry. It was me, but not like you think.” Cas sighed and reached for Dean’s hand. Grabbing  it, he led Dean over to the grass under a tree. Cas sat down in front of Dean, taking his hands in his. 

 

“It’s, they...the fairy Queen borrows my body, possesses it almost. She was the one saying all those mean things to test you, to see if you would believe it or if our love was stronger than that.”He smiled at Dean happily. “ _ And you made it _ . You knew it wasn’t me, you know  _ me. _ ” 

 

Dean studied their hands as Cas spoke and let the words sink in before he met Cas’s eyes again. “Okay.” The corners of his mouth twitched slightly, turning into a bright smile, “Can we kiss now?” 

 

Cas chortled and leaned in and gave Dean a kiss that held all the longing and relief they both felt.

 

Epilogue on next page...


	8. Epilogue

Ibis flew another loop over the cabin. _ Surely they should be awake soon? _ The first light was turning the sky a soft orange and Ibis impatiently landed on the windowsill of the only upstairs window. 

 

It was a small cabin, just fit for two humans. Or in this case, a human and a fairy and their owl. She lifted her left wing and groomed it as she waited.  _ A truly awesome owl, is me, _ she thought and straightened her back proudly. 

 

Not only had she flown from these woods all the way to that humans home to save her friend, she had done it with honors. People and other birds, save for carrier pigeons, just didn’t appreciate how hard it had been for her, a tiny bird with a pouch tied around her leg, to fly that far. But she had done it and it had all turned out great. 

 

She tilted her head and listened. She had heard a sound from the other side of the glass. That meant they were awake, finally! She stared at the window, expecting it to open at any second -- 

 

_ Nooo _ ! In the tiny gap between the curtain and the wall Ibis saw what the sound she had heard was. 

 

In the nest the man and the fairy had built for themselves, she saw their featherless bodies move. They were, indeed, awake...but this was not the first time Ibis had seen them do this strange dance. A mating ritual she figured.

 

The sounds she heard came from them both. Almost like elongated hoots but Ibis never heard an owl make  _ those _ noises, and this thing they were doing meant she had to wait even longer. 

 

She tried pecking at the window again but they didn’t even react. They only pressed their soft beaks against each other. It reminded Ibis of when she had been a baby owl and her mother came to feed them in the nest, but she never saw the human and fairy exchange food like that. It didn’t seem to have the same purpose at all. 

 

Ibis gave up with a slightly irritated hoot and flew away to her own nest. 

 

She had almost fallen asleep when she heard the fairy call. “Ibis, my friend, I’m sorry we kept you waiting.” He laughed softly and said, “Dean, stop it, go make some breakfast.” 

 

Ibis could hear the human mumble something and then the creaking of the third step of the stairs. She landed on the windowsill and pinched Cas’ hand when he reached out for her to jump into it. 

 

“Hey, what was that for?” he asked as he pulled his hand back. 

 

Ibis gave him a discontent “Hooot” and glared at him with her yellow eyes. Cas smiled at her and reached for her once more.

 

“I’m sorry we kept you waiting.” Ibis jumped up in his palm and he placed her on his shoulder, then tilted his head so he could bump his cheek against her head. “I’m sorry, but I’m just so happy Ibis.” 

 

She hooted again and when they wandered down to the kitchen together, she found the human had made her a nice bowl of raw meat and she forgave them, like always. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for joining me and Dean and Cas on this journey, it's been a struggle, it's been love, it's been a trial as much in the fic as in life to finish this. A labor of love I think you call it, and I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I did writing it!
> 
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated! 
> 
> Love -Z

**Author's Note:**

> A simple word of appreciation is all it takes to let me know you liked it. Please leave a comment and kudos! Follow me on Tumblr @zummar :)


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